Is death more painful than living a million lives? Is an era of congenial existence to be narrowed down to hypocrisy? That, seems to be my life. I am expected to shut out all the negativity to my father and self and relatives and shut it out of my memory and lead peaceful and happy life with my wife. Is it really possible? Is it worth it? Is it truthful living? I am no saint and never have been one. So should I be forgiven each time for every transgression? What are the pros and cons of such living and non-living, if there is such an option? What should one expect out of a marriage?
How extended should the family be? How many errors, faults, sins, insults, mental assaults or ego-taunts should one suffer before ending it all? I am also guilty of the same. Should I therefore count one against the other? Who wins, or loses?
For my wife to accuse my father of the murder of his first wife, of an event that has taken place in 1957-58, would of course, require fuel from other quarters. If so, the fire should have been lit up a long long time ago. But why wait till May 2008, about 21 years after the marriage? Why accuse my father or why raise such accusations in front of an adolescent grand-daughter (who loved him very dearly...) when she was suffering from psycho-somatic stress and extreme ill-health?
My mother, i.e., my father's second wife died in 1996. She never spoke a word of it. Either in grief, anger or story. She never criticized my father presuming it to be true. Me or my sister, never had cause to even think of such an happening. My aunt SKN (= younger sister of my father's first wife, and married to my father's younger brother) never spoke of it, neither did her cousin sisters USN or SM, or my mother's sisters, SP or SNN. Nor did my grandfather.
I have every reason to believe, and firmly believe, that if it would have even been suspected thereof, I would have come to know about it. Even a whiff, I have none. I plainly think that my wife has become a mentally unstable person, more like a schizophrenic lunatic. Perpetually suspicious and building up on faint straws and concocting taller stories.
How extended should the family be? How many errors, faults, sins, insults, mental assaults or ego-taunts should one suffer before ending it all? I am also guilty of the same. Should I therefore count one against the other? Who wins, or loses?
For my wife to accuse my father of the murder of his first wife, of an event that has taken place in 1957-58, would of course, require fuel from other quarters. If so, the fire should have been lit up a long long time ago. But why wait till May 2008, about 21 years after the marriage? Why accuse my father or why raise such accusations in front of an adolescent grand-daughter (who loved him very dearly...) when she was suffering from psycho-somatic stress and extreme ill-health?
My mother, i.e., my father's second wife died in 1996. She never spoke a word of it. Either in grief, anger or story. She never criticized my father presuming it to be true. Me or my sister, never had cause to even think of such an happening. My aunt SKN (= younger sister of my father's first wife, and married to my father's younger brother) never spoke of it, neither did her cousin sisters USN or SM, or my mother's sisters, SP or SNN. Nor did my grandfather.
I have every reason to believe, and firmly believe, that if it would have even been suspected thereof, I would have come to know about it. Even a whiff, I have none. I plainly think that my wife has become a mentally unstable person, more like a schizophrenic lunatic. Perpetually suspicious and building up on faint straws and concocting taller stories.
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