Are memories merely thoughts, or are they representations of events that happened but continue to exist without the framework of time and matter? In vipassana, it is said that Buddha taught that one should not carry the burden of memories, anger or hatred.
So, should one simply forget? Is it a correct thing to do? Is it an escape route? Is it a means to balance all the wrongs done by you or done to you? So, should one simply forget? Does that mean, that one becomes an ascetic in real life time situations? Does one withdraw from one's life? As was pointed out to me, by Nitin, we may be masters of our external world, but the inner reaches of the mind, and our inner world is an awesome mystery. My mind seems to have several shades. Good to excellent and stupendous and suddenly to bad to worse to dangerous. But, is it because of... ?
Should I escape guilt by blaming cause and reaction to an externality, even if it is caused by another? Is the other (e.g. my wife), the cause of the various shades of my behaviour? Is my mind so weak? Am I so weak? I do not think so. I think my mind and I, together, we want to act or react in such and such a manner. But, is it deliberate? I do think the action seems to be deliberate, but the spacial aspect of time in reaction, is the fault. I react in an instant. It may be the fault within me. And then, I am unable to pull back. The 9010 principle on my part seems to be 9901 principle. But why do I need to react in a bad way?
I am not like that at other times and with other people. I am cautious in my arguments with most people. Always, I am hesitant. DocK, the Vet, actually made it into a tribute, by saying that "He stoops to conquer." He said this to Siva and Ramesh.
I have noticed another fault of mine, or, another behavioural pattern of mine. Whenever the wife goes off on her demented manner of hatred, jealousy and suspicion, I seem to react by shopping, spending money and doing repairs. It almost seems like a getaway from the madness that I have to face at home. Often, I want to get away from it all. I do think of quite a few options - (1) Walk away. Just start walking, and go away. Become a mendicant, a vagabond and roam the country. (2) Resign from the job. Leave the office so that the workplace does not get bad press because of me. (3) Leave the residence. Go and stay somewhere else. Withdraw from the office and the family ties in a step by step manner and approach. (4) Take a post on deputation or take study leave. Go abroad. Away from the family. Take a break from everything.
So, should one simply forget? Is it a correct thing to do? Is it an escape route? Is it a means to balance all the wrongs done by you or done to you? So, should one simply forget? Does that mean, that one becomes an ascetic in real life time situations? Does one withdraw from one's life? As was pointed out to me, by Nitin, we may be masters of our external world, but the inner reaches of the mind, and our inner world is an awesome mystery. My mind seems to have several shades. Good to excellent and stupendous and suddenly to bad to worse to dangerous. But, is it because of... ?
Should I escape guilt by blaming cause and reaction to an externality, even if it is caused by another? Is the other (e.g. my wife), the cause of the various shades of my behaviour? Is my mind so weak? Am I so weak? I do not think so. I think my mind and I, together, we want to act or react in such and such a manner. But, is it deliberate? I do think the action seems to be deliberate, but the spacial aspect of time in reaction, is the fault. I react in an instant. It may be the fault within me. And then, I am unable to pull back. The 9010 principle on my part seems to be 9901 principle. But why do I need to react in a bad way?
I am not like that at other times and with other people. I am cautious in my arguments with most people. Always, I am hesitant. DocK, the Vet, actually made it into a tribute, by saying that "He stoops to conquer." He said this to Siva and Ramesh.
I have noticed another fault of mine, or, another behavioural pattern of mine. Whenever the wife goes off on her demented manner of hatred, jealousy and suspicion, I seem to react by shopping, spending money and doing repairs. It almost seems like a getaway from the madness that I have to face at home. Often, I want to get away from it all. I do think of quite a few options - (1) Walk away. Just start walking, and go away. Become a mendicant, a vagabond and roam the country. (2) Resign from the job. Leave the office so that the workplace does not get bad press because of me. (3) Leave the residence. Go and stay somewhere else. Withdraw from the office and the family ties in a step by step manner and approach. (4) Take a post on deputation or take study leave. Go abroad. Away from the family. Take a break from everything.
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