This was in the 2nd fortnight of March 2009, after my father had passed away. My demonic mother-in-law came to visit for the funeral of my father, and of course, as one would expect, decided to stay on at our house. Demonic? Why would I call her demonic? Because - duh! - she is a demon. Let me explain with this incident. I am not going to stray about in this particular situation but stay on the point. After all the relatives had left our house and gone back to their respective towns, after all the rituals were completed for my father, this demon-MIL began making herself comfortable in the house. There were many other irritants and many other points of argument. But, I want to present the games she played with the cellphone. She had a few 'known' perspectives to begin with. Namely -
1. She knew very well that I got angry very easily, whenever I was stressed.
2. She knew that I would yell and should when I would get angry.
3. She had to get me into a fight with her, for her daughter, ie, my wife, to become sympathetic towards her.
4. She had to create a situation that would seem very mythical - that is - it would be hard for her daughter to believe that this demon-MIL would be so terrible.
I had not gone back to work, and was at home, getting stuff sorted out after my father's passing. It was about 20 odd days since he had passed on. The relatives had left in 12-14 days. So, this was like 5-6 days that the house was with me, my wife, daughter and the demon-MIL. My wife would go to her place of work, during 11 am to 6 pm, during when my daughter would be asleep, due to her health problems and what not. I would be working on my computer, in my room, surfing the net, or networking with my office colleagues over work that was pending at my office desk. We had a major meeting coming up, and I had to stay connected with the status of the work.
During the time of the day when my wife would not be present in the house, my demon-MIL would stay quiet and would keep napping inside my daughter's bedroom. She would rarely come out of the room, and would never come over to my side of the house, or peek into my room. It was all peaceful. Around 6.15 pm, my wife would return to the house, and would immediately change her work clothes, slip on a nightie, and get inside my daughter's bedroom, and try to take a nap on the same cot that she shared with her. This was the time when the trouble would start.
My demon-MIL would come out of the bedroom and start moving about in the house, moving about, making noises with vessels, and walking about in my side of the house and to the kitchen, like, she was all busy and all that. There was nothing to do, actually. But, she would move about. I would keep surfing the net and would not come out of my bedroom. The door was open, and she could see that I was up and about.
Suddenly, she would start talking on her cellphone, in a very pleasant, happy voice, very cheerful, and would make it very clear to me, in just the right volume, that she was talking to her daughters-in-law and her grand-daughter, back home, in the town that she came from. And once she knew that her voice had carried on to me, she would start talking in just the right volume, so that the voice did not carry to my daughter's bedroom, which had a TV with its volume switched on, and the door closed.
She would start talking to her grand-daughter, "Oh... sweetie-pie (etc etc), Yes, I love you very much. I miss you terribly. Yes. Do you miss your grand-mother? Oh, you do? I do too. Yes. I will come back, soon, there is nothing for me to do here. I have no work here. All the prayers and rituals are finished. I was planning to return in two days, but now, I have to postpone my return journey."
So, you can guess - she conveyed the crucial part - that she was going to stay for more than two days, and she would stay for an uncertainly long period of time.
I would not have bothered, but I did bother about it. I did not want her staying on in my house for an uncertainly long period of time. Why? THAT, is another post. I will write about it separately.
In immediate reaction, I would get angry and upset, and I would ask her as to why was she not getting back to where she came from. The moment that I said it, she would start heaving her chest, dramatically, would start screaming in a very high pitched voice, and would start beating her chest and would start crying about it or yelling in a manner that seemed like she was crying.
My wife and daughter would come rushing out of their bedroom, and - SLIP - we would end up in an argument and fight. My wife and me would start arguing and I would start shouting louder and louder, and finally, I was the villain, because I was shouting louder. All the three ladies would go back into the bedroom and shut it, and I would be left holding whatever was left outside - nothing, of course.
This happened 3-4 times, on alternate days. Each time my wife would return from office, and settle down in the bedroom with our daughter, suffering in her ill-health, I would be drawn into an argument with my demon-MIL, and later end up in a shouting tournament with my wife, and slowly, my demon-MIL would sneak into my daughter's bedroom and get out of the fight. My wife never understood, for after all, I was a terrible man, always getting into an argument with her wonderful and innocent mother.
I am a person who picks up on patterns very quickly, and can also spot creeping intruders at the edge of situations that perpetuate chaos. I saw the pattern - I was ending up in a non-winnable argument with my wife, in a spiteful manner, and always in an angry manner. Why did I not have the same fight or argument at 10 pm, for that matter, or at midnight, or early in the morning? Or, on the telephone? Why was I getting angry during my period of mourning for my father?
To think back to those days, I never got the opportunity to mourn for my father or cry for him. There were too many fights and arguments happening in the house for me to stay sad and mournful.
Then, I saw the second pattern - It was always after I heard my demon-MIL talking on her cellphone. My paranoid second nature brought forth the next point of doubt. How come, how was it that my demon-MIL was talking on a cellphone for such a long time, when her phone had not buzzed. Nobody had called her. She seemed to have a pre-paid number, and she was from the older generation of people who would not talk too long on the telephone if they were paying the bill. And, she did seem to be talking only to her grandchildren, who were kids, who would certainly not want to chitchat with their grand-mother at 7 pm, when they would be busier playing with their friends or doing their homework.
The third pattern - She would always talk to her grandchildren, outside the bedroom where her daughter and her other grand-daughter was present. Why did she not want her daughter and her grand-daughter to talk to the other grandchildren when they were talking to her, so very lovingly and all that? Why would she come out to talk to them, and why would she always talk to them outside my bedroom door, and then - BANG - I would end up in an argument with her, by grabbing the bait that she left? She was being very clever, I guessed.
So, two could play the game, I thought. Let her play her game and let her get trapped in it, I decided. The next day, I called out to my daughter, much earlier, before or around 6 pm, and had her sit with me on my computer, and kept pointing out stuff on my facebook profile page. Sure enough, just after my wife had returned from her workplace, and got in to settle down inside the daughter's bedroom, my demon-MIL came out and started talking to her loving grandchildren, and went on and on for 3-5 minutes, about how she would have to stay back at my house, because my daughter's birthday was coming up in two months from that date. She knew that it would get me very angry, really angry, angry enough to create a big outburst of an argument.
I had read this one out entirely within my mind, and I decided, I will play this game the way she wants. Only, I will not step away from the argument with the demon-MIL and will not shift the argument or fight to my wife. I would continue to argue with the demon-MIL and argue and argue and fight and fight and argue and argue and will not stop. But, in all this argument, I will not shift to my wife or to my daughter. That is what I had decided on that day, 19 March 2009. I know... I remember the date. That date was significant.
My daughter was sitting next to me, and I wondered... if I should do a double-check on the telephone conversation, because there was something odd about the discussion. It seemed totally one-sided, and it seemed like it was only one person talking, ie the demon-MIL. So, I told my daughter, "Watch this... and watch it properly", and I picked up my cellphone, and dialed my demon-MIL's phone number, and allowed my daughter to hear it. I was a 2000% right on the first bet. The dial-tone said, "This number is switched off." I had not told my daughter about whom I had dialed out to, and now I told her. "This number is to the cellphone number of your wonderful grandmother, who is right now talking on her telephone. See... let's dial her..."
My daughter could not believe it. The dial-tone said again, "This number is switched off." So, my guess was correct. She had kept her phone switched off, as she did, through the day, to save on the battery, because she knew one thing for certain, that nobody would call her on her cellphone. Her sons would call her on the house land-line because her younger son's private business would pick up the expenditure.
The demon-MIL did not know that we had caught on. We kept listening to her... She kept talking... about how long she was going to stay in my house, and how she desperately wanted to return... on a phone that was switched off, all the time.
My daughter wanted to call her bluff and fight with her. I told her not to. It would leave her mother disappointed or sad, and she would have to stop believing in her mother. I did not want that to happen. I am not a hero and I am not claiming to be one, but on that day, at that moment, I advised my daughter to forget it. It was just one of the many mysterious things we do in our lives, and this was one of it. My daughter listened to me, and forgot about it.
I have not forgotten about it. The aftermath... in another post.
1. She knew very well that I got angry very easily, whenever I was stressed.
2. She knew that I would yell and should when I would get angry.
3. She had to get me into a fight with her, for her daughter, ie, my wife, to become sympathetic towards her.
4. She had to create a situation that would seem very mythical - that is - it would be hard for her daughter to believe that this demon-MIL would be so terrible.
I had not gone back to work, and was at home, getting stuff sorted out after my father's passing. It was about 20 odd days since he had passed on. The relatives had left in 12-14 days. So, this was like 5-6 days that the house was with me, my wife, daughter and the demon-MIL. My wife would go to her place of work, during 11 am to 6 pm, during when my daughter would be asleep, due to her health problems and what not. I would be working on my computer, in my room, surfing the net, or networking with my office colleagues over work that was pending at my office desk. We had a major meeting coming up, and I had to stay connected with the status of the work.
During the time of the day when my wife would not be present in the house, my demon-MIL would stay quiet and would keep napping inside my daughter's bedroom. She would rarely come out of the room, and would never come over to my side of the house, or peek into my room. It was all peaceful. Around 6.15 pm, my wife would return to the house, and would immediately change her work clothes, slip on a nightie, and get inside my daughter's bedroom, and try to take a nap on the same cot that she shared with her. This was the time when the trouble would start.
My demon-MIL would come out of the bedroom and start moving about in the house, moving about, making noises with vessels, and walking about in my side of the house and to the kitchen, like, she was all busy and all that. There was nothing to do, actually. But, she would move about. I would keep surfing the net and would not come out of my bedroom. The door was open, and she could see that I was up and about.
Suddenly, she would start talking on her cellphone, in a very pleasant, happy voice, very cheerful, and would make it very clear to me, in just the right volume, that she was talking to her daughters-in-law and her grand-daughter, back home, in the town that she came from. And once she knew that her voice had carried on to me, she would start talking in just the right volume, so that the voice did not carry to my daughter's bedroom, which had a TV with its volume switched on, and the door closed.
She would start talking to her grand-daughter, "Oh... sweetie-pie (etc etc), Yes, I love you very much. I miss you terribly. Yes. Do you miss your grand-mother? Oh, you do? I do too. Yes. I will come back, soon, there is nothing for me to do here. I have no work here. All the prayers and rituals are finished. I was planning to return in two days, but now, I have to postpone my return journey."
So, you can guess - she conveyed the crucial part - that she was going to stay for more than two days, and she would stay for an uncertainly long period of time.
I would not have bothered, but I did bother about it. I did not want her staying on in my house for an uncertainly long period of time. Why? THAT, is another post. I will write about it separately.
In immediate reaction, I would get angry and upset, and I would ask her as to why was she not getting back to where she came from. The moment that I said it, she would start heaving her chest, dramatically, would start screaming in a very high pitched voice, and would start beating her chest and would start crying about it or yelling in a manner that seemed like she was crying.
My wife and daughter would come rushing out of their bedroom, and - SLIP - we would end up in an argument and fight. My wife and me would start arguing and I would start shouting louder and louder, and finally, I was the villain, because I was shouting louder. All the three ladies would go back into the bedroom and shut it, and I would be left holding whatever was left outside - nothing, of course.
This happened 3-4 times, on alternate days. Each time my wife would return from office, and settle down in the bedroom with our daughter, suffering in her ill-health, I would be drawn into an argument with my demon-MIL, and later end up in a shouting tournament with my wife, and slowly, my demon-MIL would sneak into my daughter's bedroom and get out of the fight. My wife never understood, for after all, I was a terrible man, always getting into an argument with her wonderful and innocent mother.
I am a person who picks up on patterns very quickly, and can also spot creeping intruders at the edge of situations that perpetuate chaos. I saw the pattern - I was ending up in a non-winnable argument with my wife, in a spiteful manner, and always in an angry manner. Why did I not have the same fight or argument at 10 pm, for that matter, or at midnight, or early in the morning? Or, on the telephone? Why was I getting angry during my period of mourning for my father?
To think back to those days, I never got the opportunity to mourn for my father or cry for him. There were too many fights and arguments happening in the house for me to stay sad and mournful.
Then, I saw the second pattern - It was always after I heard my demon-MIL talking on her cellphone. My paranoid second nature brought forth the next point of doubt. How come, how was it that my demon-MIL was talking on a cellphone for such a long time, when her phone had not buzzed. Nobody had called her. She seemed to have a pre-paid number, and she was from the older generation of people who would not talk too long on the telephone if they were paying the bill. And, she did seem to be talking only to her grandchildren, who were kids, who would certainly not want to chitchat with their grand-mother at 7 pm, when they would be busier playing with their friends or doing their homework.
The third pattern - She would always talk to her grandchildren, outside the bedroom where her daughter and her other grand-daughter was present. Why did she not want her daughter and her grand-daughter to talk to the other grandchildren when they were talking to her, so very lovingly and all that? Why would she come out to talk to them, and why would she always talk to them outside my bedroom door, and then - BANG - I would end up in an argument with her, by grabbing the bait that she left? She was being very clever, I guessed.
So, two could play the game, I thought. Let her play her game and let her get trapped in it, I decided. The next day, I called out to my daughter, much earlier, before or around 6 pm, and had her sit with me on my computer, and kept pointing out stuff on my facebook profile page. Sure enough, just after my wife had returned from her workplace, and got in to settle down inside the daughter's bedroom, my demon-MIL came out and started talking to her loving grandchildren, and went on and on for 3-5 minutes, about how she would have to stay back at my house, because my daughter's birthday was coming up in two months from that date. She knew that it would get me very angry, really angry, angry enough to create a big outburst of an argument.
I had read this one out entirely within my mind, and I decided, I will play this game the way she wants. Only, I will not step away from the argument with the demon-MIL and will not shift the argument or fight to my wife. I would continue to argue with the demon-MIL and argue and argue and fight and fight and argue and argue and will not stop. But, in all this argument, I will not shift to my wife or to my daughter. That is what I had decided on that day, 19 March 2009. I know... I remember the date. That date was significant.
My daughter was sitting next to me, and I wondered... if I should do a double-check on the telephone conversation, because there was something odd about the discussion. It seemed totally one-sided, and it seemed like it was only one person talking, ie the demon-MIL. So, I told my daughter, "Watch this... and watch it properly", and I picked up my cellphone, and dialed my demon-MIL's phone number, and allowed my daughter to hear it. I was a 2000% right on the first bet. The dial-tone said, "This number is switched off." I had not told my daughter about whom I had dialed out to, and now I told her. "This number is to the cellphone number of your wonderful grandmother, who is right now talking on her telephone. See... let's dial her..."
My daughter could not believe it. The dial-tone said again, "This number is switched off." So, my guess was correct. She had kept her phone switched off, as she did, through the day, to save on the battery, because she knew one thing for certain, that nobody would call her on her cellphone. Her sons would call her on the house land-line because her younger son's private business would pick up the expenditure.
The demon-MIL did not know that we had caught on. We kept listening to her... She kept talking... about how long she was going to stay in my house, and how she desperately wanted to return... on a phone that was switched off, all the time.
My daughter wanted to call her bluff and fight with her. I told her not to. It would leave her mother disappointed or sad, and she would have to stop believing in her mother. I did not want that to happen. I am not a hero and I am not claiming to be one, but on that day, at that moment, I advised my daughter to forget it. It was just one of the many mysterious things we do in our lives, and this was one of it. My daughter listened to me, and forgot about it.
I have not forgotten about it. The aftermath... in another post.
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